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news muse zine - compiled for alt. world scenario fans by INFOmaniac
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Press the Start button to run the game. Wave your pointer directly over the dashes under the game field to move the paddle.
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San Francisco serpent
by Holly Toledo "The so-called 'Beast of the Bay' is a hoax," says Timothy Burton, deputy-Governor of California. At a midweek press conference, many of the golden state's top civil authorities turned out in an effort to finally quash the wildfire rumours of sea serpent attacks on the Golden Gate Bridge, which have "had a very unfavourable impact on tourism" up and down the west coast, attracting many "undesirable" sightseers to the Bay area. Since the Victorian era, the US government has denied the very existence of giant sea serpents, and today's official statement by Burton rejected all evidence of "recent sea monster sightings." Despite numerous photographs published by Pacific tabloids and actual video footage broadcast by Bay TV news, the Governor's office still categorically refused to accept the possibility that any "unclassified marine life form exists" in the Bay waters, and stated that "there is no such offshore menace to law-abiding Californians." Challenged by reporters for a response to the growing bulk of anecdotal evidence - from local residents, A-list celebs (many not even known for attention-seeking), and members of the city's heroic emergency services (including over 500 SFPD officers and serving paramedics), Burton drawled, sneeringly: "Well, lots of people claim to have seen Elvis Costello, flying saucers, Eddie Scissorhands, caped crusaders, halloween's Pumpkin King, and the headless horseman, too!" |
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