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news muse zine - compiled for alt. world scenario fans by INFOmaniac
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Following recent news of interagency conflict between American defence organisations, the Homeland Security Dept this week decided to overturn the FBI's official "hands-off dotcoms" policy, and forcibly shutdown 7 more terrorist-friendly web nodes discovered operating from unexpected and obscure locations outside US territory. A spokesperson for the Southeast Asian host servers of semiautomatic provider Netonomy told this reporter, despairingly: "There was not much we could do when Delta Force troopers used an EMP device to wreck all Netonomy's online systems and disable the hardware stacks in our basement. Of course, we can fight trade writs in the international courts, but how do, or can, honest law-abiding entrepreneurs like us contend with such hi-tech electromagnetic assault? I already fear for the gonads of techies working inside the building during the unprovoked attack." Within hours of the incident, came the usual flurry of non-denial denials from the usual steadfast Republican Party mouthpieces on Capitol Hill, but it has since emerged that a little known Virtual-Enterprise Threat Emergency Response-strategy Advisory Network (VETERAN) visited the White House only days before, and it appears their confidential reports to the Vice-President influenced or, perhaps, focussed her thinking for this particular overseas police action. At the weekend's official White House press conference and webcast, Vice-President Pam Greer, accompanied as usual by her partner, 1st Significant Other, Elaine DeGeneres, refused to comment "at this time" on "the possibility of any radical changes" in US foreign policy. However, this reporter has learned from an anonymous yet wholly reliable informant among the Oval Office staff (yes, it was the ever-mysterious "Profound Gullet", once again, folks) - that VETERAN delivered information concerning "some kind of data-dissembling plot" to disrupt the smooth running of next summer's campaigning by the Committee to Re-Elect the President. President Susan Weaver was, of course, away from the White House at the actual time of the VETERAN appointment, enjoying a well-earned midterm break at Camp Matthew, from where FAX 21 CelebWatch gatecrasher Shirley McCartney reports: "Prez Weaver celebrates her 10th wedding anniversary in style. Typically, however, the Alpha Male, former comic-actor and New York filmmaker of distinction, Woody Allan, refused to dance with his chief executive wife at the unofficial but well-attended gala dinner to mark the special occasion, but he did unbend for long enough to play a jaunty clarinet solo with the imported jazz quartet, while Ms President boogied with the familiar gaggle of former suitors." Is the White House or the presidency being targeted by another Muslim fundamentalist terrorist cell operating inside US borders? Once again, Washington is abuzz with mutant strains of wild ideas, crazy gossip or anxious whispers. And the intelligence community's rumour controllers shift gears into overdrive, half-heartedly disclaiming or incautiously re-circulating the very same damning allegations, infuriating propaganda and wacky spy stories that caused so much trouble - and inflamed Democratic senators at congressional hearings - last year, without actually condensing any of the worrying steam into water for cooling hotheads in the obscenely powerful US arms trade lobby. Is the crackdown on extralegal info-dump websites just a prelude to yet another overt military offensive against perceived enemy targets overseas? |
 Anglo-Asian spokesperson for Netonomy, pines for his cosy cottage-semi, back home in Middle Loughbrow.  the Alpha Male, Woody Allan, pose for wedding anniversary photos, while on vacation at Camp Matthew. above images by artist Kerry Earl |
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