Bragg blasts back
by Michael Lohr
Former Conservative Party chairman Bill 'Slaggy Crumpets' Bragg was released from St Apostrophe's
Holy Handshake Clinic today after being diagnosed with throat cancer. Dr Smock, the resident
physician on call commented that, the polyp was rather small and that Mr Bragg would make a full
recovery.
Mr Bragg, leaving St Apostrophe's
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"He's too damn cantankerous to let this sideline him. After all, he is the Vice-Roy Chair on the
Committee to Study the Effects of Doggy-doo on Air Pollution. He can't let something like this, slow
him down," said Willomena Wormsworth, the Assistant Vice-Roy Chair on the Committee to Study the
Effects of Doggy-doo on Air Pollution.
"Ah, he's probably just shaggin' off somewhere," said Riley James, the President of the
King Richard Dirty Nickers Club.
The rumour mill has been working overtime as of late. Word on the street has it
that Mr Bragg didn't have throat cancer at all, but was rushed into emergency surgery to remove a
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goat's utter from his oesophagus. The Saxon Goat Suckers Society has claimed that Mr Bragg is in fact
their exalted High Horned Fellow of the Sacred Teat and that this
unfortunate accident occurred while Mr Bragg was
performing the Solstice moon ritual. According to reports, the goat was flown aboard a life-flight
transport to St Faulty's Tower of the Immaculate Boob where
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FAX 21 has exclusive access
to Mr Bragg's biopsy photos!
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a new, synthetic utter was surgically attached.
The goat, although currently in guarded condition, is expected to make a full recovery.
FAX 21 looks behind-the-scenes at baseline laser grids embedded in dust clouds...
"Natural light refraction through dust clouds and ice crystals creates varying strand
colouration." - Roland Rocketier
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Mega-scale artwork
by Pasha Verde
Inspired by Coombs, Christo and Caldor, rising French artist, Roland Rocketier, has put the finishing
touches on his installation piece, Universal Web.
Rocketier's 3-year project speaks to the observer. He states, "My intent is to
show we are all connected. Each planet linked to one another like the strands in a spider's web. Each
1 changes but all are linked."
Rocketier's construction is created from projected laser beams targeted from
various planets forming thin strands of coloured light that expand, crisscross and intersect through
space.
Huge disco light installations revolve and shoot beams to specific locations
situated on planets and slow moving asteroids fitted with large reflective plates of silvered
mirrors. Movement creates an ever-changing pattern similar to Caldor's mobiles. As primary colours
meet, secondary and tertiary colours whirl. "Hopefully, Rocketier says, "small areas of
space dust and debris will wander through the pattern giving glittering effects."
"I think of my piece as a major Aurora borealis, moving, evolving, dancing
through the cosmos," Rocketier says. "At first I had planned to use fine strands of elastic
neo-nylon to create connecting patterns, but the Federation Arts Council suggested neo-nylon threads
present space travel problems and would require constant changes to navigation charts."
To observe Rocketier's construction, check local programming at your home base for
alignment times. Although the unaided eye will be able to view Universal Web a telescope will enhance
smaller nuances.
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